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Top Ten Reasons I HATE MINECRAFT

Top Ten Reasons I HATE MINECRAFT

Kimberly 1 comments

minecraft

I know my position will be unpopular.  After you read this, you’ll most likely be tempted to add a comment to the likes of , “But, Kimberly, Minecraft is such a wonderful game.  Think of all the various skills your children are honing while they spend their every waking moment playing”.

But I can’t stay silent anymore!  I absolutely detest Minecraft!

There! It’s out!  I’ve said it!  Now, let me tell you why I shudder when I hear the words, “Creeper”, “Herobrine”, “Notch” and countless others that consume my older boys and roll off their tongues better than the educational mnemonics we’ve been studying for forever!!!

A brief history to let you know that Minecraft planted its talons in my boys during the Winter Rally in Suwannee (Jan, 2013).  Previously, I had heard it mentioned but never did pay any attention.

And then, there it was.. this $6.99 option for my kids to have a common interest with other homeschoolers and full time traveling kids. This gift from the Virtual Gods that would yield to positive and productive interactions between my two olders (“you build this, I’ll go kill that Spider Jockey”, “do you have any extra iron ore I can borrow to craft my sheers”) .  This manna from the netherworld that would give me a much needed break and completely entertain my kids and their friends, giving me a much needed Mommy Break.

It was a no brainer… get the credit card honey!  We’re goin’ Mining!

minecraft3

BIG RED FLAG #1

Not too long after, on one bright and shining morning, there was a complete and utter meltdown in my rv.  It seems Blaise had left his ‘dog’ unattended in his home and the dog had drowned in his pool. WTF!!!!

I raced to my facebook and sent out an all points bulletin to all the “Minecraft Moms” about how we could remedy this situation. We were obviously playing this sand box game all wrong. I knew we couldn’t ‘revive’ the dog, but how we could make it so we wouldn’t need to send the kids to therapy for the sudden loss of virtual pets.

As you can imagine, the responses were across the board:

  • Build fencing around the pool
  • Change the game to “peaceful” mode – which I was advised by my boys is no darn fun.
  • Quit your whining and helicopter parenting and let them play. (My personal favorite 😉

minecraft2

BIG RED FLAG #2

So, we forged on (pun intended) and one particular evening Dominick came home from another FtF’s camper, bursting to tell me all about all the fun he had playing the xbox version of Minecraft.  I listened with one ear, and hoped he did not recognize the glaze in my eyes as disinterest.. until he excited exclaimed, “and we killed a bunch of villagers!” WTF!!!!!

After a spiritual conversation about the responsibility of ‘Playing God’ and being a person of moral, empathetic and ethical character, we made a hard and fast rule: No killing Villagers. Period!

Now, Dominick is very proud to tell me he makes sure the villagers’ houses are empty before he burns them down.  I am one proud Mama!

BIG RED FLAG #3

I had first heard the term ‘mating’ in regards to Minecraft a few months ago, and although I had my reservations, my kids told me they were ‘mating’ animals.  Like livestock, farming, age old practices we’ll be able to rely on when the end of the world comes (the silver lining will be the end of Minecraft:).  Yes, these are skills my boys should have – although I’m not sure when I send them out into the field, rubbing one animal on top of another Minecraft Style will actually produce offspring.

But a new update was released and guess what – you can now mate Villagers!  That’s great!  At least the villagers will have something to do while they’re waiting for their burnt down houses to be rebuilt.

Now let’s address the actual programming of Minecraft.

I have spent days trying to hash out ‘Mods’ with nothing to show for it!  We have tried to download skins – nah!  and today I have spent the last hour trying to purchase the program for Dominick’s laptop – nope (am I a glutton sending mixed signals or what?).

Mojang is constantly telling me.. you silly middle aged mom, this block world is WAY over your head… please hand the appliance to your 3 year old and back away.. he knows how to make this work!

I’ve really just been pushed to my limit. Mating villagers, killing sprees and the fact that my kids know by heart every combination for making potions and crafting articles (in just 6 months) but can’t remember to put a period at the end of a sentence… something we’ve been working on for 2 years!

I seriously wish we could go back to a Minecraft-less (and Facebook-less if I want to be completely honest) World where my kids dug in real dirt, had no contact with villagers, and their dogs weren’t at risk of drowning.

 

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